Its been a long week...

25 weeks

 So pictures of me at 25 weeks. I've had a few people ask if I was due soon (nope just a large German baby) I'm not measuring huge, I just look huge.
It was a crazy week with bee swarms, lots of kids, yelling and general chaos. I've got a bit of time off now to get sewing done, house cleaned, one of our apartments painted and cleaned, and all the little things that need to be done that haven't been done.

All in all things are going well, I'd love to get things together and not feel so behind  and I can't quite believe how close October is getting and how much needs to be done before this baby is done.

25 week bump

give up

Don't you just hate it when your whole life seems to be coming apart at the seams?
I keep saying I'm fine and things are fine and how good things are. Like if I say it enough it is going to be true. The baby is fine and perfect and the pregnancy is perfect, its just the whole rest of my life that feels like it's imploding.
I'm so sick of pretending like it is all wonderful and desperately trying to hold the little pieces of my life together, it's just so tiring though and just when I think I'm making a little tinny bit of headway something else falls apart. I feel like I'm failing. Even as I write this I know that more bad things are going to happen that the stress isn't going to let up. That my life is going to stay imploded and part of me feels like I a selfish person for even thinking about bringing a baby into this mess. There is a limit to the amount of stuff that one person can handle and I feel like we've gotten or limit. So can bad things stop happening can we just, please, have a little bit of good luck. It isn't one thing that is bad or not going the way that we wish it was, it feels like everything, even the little ones, is going badly. I just am done. I just give up. I just want it all  to go away.

Appointment Today

Today we are seeing the midwife and hearing the baby. Amazing thing to know that our baby is ok becuase they are kicking me as I  type this, there is no what if something happened irrationality that I usually have. I am so thankful for a baby that wiggles and kicks all the time it is a constant reassurance that they are in there and OK. The two little girls that I watch are going to come with us today to hear the baby. They are very excited about hearing the baby and getting to come and see what happens at a appointment.

The three year old met our midwife at the annual midwife picnic in May and she got hit in the face with a swing and split her lip. It wasn't a bad split but there was a lot of blood and Nancy, our midwife, got her ice and now is referred to as "the person that fixed L's lip"  It was just some ice and a few nice words but when you are three, it is a huge thing and has inspired this She can fix anything idea and she gets babies out of their mommies tummies super woman image of her in both the girls minds. (lets face it she is something of a super woman)

We have been busy

We have been working on selling stuff at the farmers market and getting ready for the baby. Both things have been taking up a lot of time. Here are a few pictures of what we have been up too.  We painted our bedroom and moved all the baby things into our room. We are currently 22 weeks pregnant and everything is going really well this time and we are excited getting ready for our new baby who is due in October.

Getting ready for painting and our new puppy

Baby's new space

organizing baby things

20 weeks baby bump

Almost Edible veggies

Almost Edible fruits

Farmers market. We have been selling our fruits and veggies as well as jewlery for a few weeks now at the local market and have been having a lot of fun. You can check out our website Roxy Roo website

overwelming

I have to say that I've been slacking in blogging about this baby. Part of it is that I am not so worried. We are having a baby in October. I'm feeling the baby every day, a lot. Yesterday Rob felt the baby kick which is very cool and a huge milestone.

According to my midwife you can better guess your due date based on when you feel the 1st big kick, I felt it on May 23 which would make our kick due date October 23 verse the October 13 due date based on last menstrual period. It will be interesting to see which one is closer.
 
I have been working really hard on my crafts and selling at the farmers market. It has been going well.
I have been overwhelmed with nesting, the need to clean the whole house and organizing everything. I have been working on figuring out what we still need for the baby. Researching cloth diapers alone has been daunting.

We are lucky to have been given a lot of baby things, we have a crib, changing table, lots of clothing, little baby odds and ends. We really only need to get a stroller, car-seat, diapers, baby carriers, a few nursing odds and ends, and  we'll be ready for the baby.

From this side of 20 weeks it is starting to feel like we are running out of time. Mostly becuase we are trying to find the majority of things second hand, searching craigs list and ebay for deals. I know that we still have a lot of time but it is exciting to be on this side of the half way mark.